Motherland

As Parliament debated to ban Donald Trump he hit back and laughed at Alex Salmond the fat cunt. "Maybe I should shut down my GOLF course and take jobs away? Scotland doesn't need people to work they have England's titty to suck on every day".

Champion

Old Holborn came back on Twitter despite Liverpool fans trying to get him banned. "It's justice for me, I'll always have the upper hand. Scousers can scream like a 'madhead' but today they've been left 'crushed' instead".

Belgian Bun

Angry Jurgen Klopp started the new year with a 2-0 loss after playing Brendan Rodger's £32 million flop. "I come to Liverpool every day and see the wheels of my car taken away so the last thing we want is neanderthal man who goes missing up front".